papillions

momentmusical 


The story behind the switch is very long... and very embarrassing... But I promise I won't make a habit out of this whole changing-livejournals thing. I promise!! 

And... and I promise I'm going to try to post more regularly! 

*fumbles about and is very embarrassed about this whole thing* 

 Gone are my plans for a productive summer.

Gone are my promises of no more late nights, obsessive emotionally-charged rants about things no one else understands. That this is the summer I set aside my playthings and actually do worthwhile things (at least some of the time).

What, oh what, you might ask, was it that broke your indomitable will of steel?

Well, I'll tell you.
( A story about the TARDIS and David Tennant's Doctor ) 

Another weekend. Another Friday night spent at the Turnstyle drinking my free coffee and failing at chess. In addition to the usual kareoke being sung by the mall-rats, a Metallica-loving band called Emotus (which, apparently, means 'disturbed' in Egyptian. huh.) and a head-thrashing, Brit grunge band played. I prefered the latter, but not by much.

And then it was.... These Guys and Allyie!!




You guys were great :D. Good job on your premiere!

So, on a more serious note, I'm seriously looking at my post-secondary options now... I know its still early, but I've come to realize that I know, uh, close to nothing about how things work outside of THSS... So, is it general studies for everyone the first couple years? Or do you pick your area beforehand? Don't even get me started on universities... Ryerson seems promising, but I heard its extremely competive. And, plus the fact that its in TORONTO. Holy crap. I've barely set foot in Alberta much less the East Coast. Anyone care to enlighten me about why people hate Toronto so much?

I've also been e-mailing my cousin back and forth about journalism, just to see if its something I want to get into. My original plan was to go into English/Lit, but seeing as how I'd be doubtful that I'd get a job in anything else other than teaching, I've got to find an alternative. Anyways, I can always do writing on the side. Now its just a matter of finding a field in which I can get steady employment AND feel passionate about. Is it too much to ask?

I feel so old thinking about all these things... that's probably why I go to the Turnstyle, to be reminded about how young I really am amongst the awful kareoke and garage bands XD.

Today I was at London Drugs and I bought the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's, because lately I've developed an admiration for Audrey Hepburn. She was more than just a remnant of the beauty and class of Old Hollywood; she was a genuinely kind and down to earth individual. And she's incredibly expressive, in ways that is so deep and profound.

And in the movie, her iconic line is, "Nothing can possibly go wrong when you're in Tiffany's." For a time, I felt that way too. Not consciously maybe, but for the past few months I've been hiding in Tiffany's while so much turmoil has been going on outside the doors. And for the first time I've stepped out of the shop and realized the situation I'm truly in.

It is nothing that pertains to me personally, but is so close to home that I feel myself absorbing it into myself. And while everyone is telling me, "Go, go back inside", I feel like i can't possibly. Its frustrating, because I do want to run back inside Tiffany's, but I would feel cowardly. So what should I do? Go back to ignorance, or involve myself?

Even in the face of happiness, of all the glittering diamonds of Tiffany's, they're rendered less sparkling and beautiful now. So even if I went back, what good would it be?

Tiffany's is gone. The world is outside. There is no where else to go but forward.

Ahh... I'm so stuffed~

Went to Metrotown with my friends today. It was a lot of fun; it felt sort of strange bringing them to Crystal Mall, because they stuck out so much XD. I was a little disappointed that we didn't go eat hot pot though... thats what you get when you're the only asian in a group of twelve people haha. I got my first paycheck a while ago, so I was actually able to buy clothes again! Everything was on sale though, so it was great timing.

At the end of the day though, when we were making out way home, only half of us made it onto the Skytrain... And the three people who were shut out didn't have cellphones, and were really unfamiliar with taking the Skytrain. One was actually visiting from Norway XD. When the doors closed before they were able to get in, we were all like "NOOO!" but there wasn't really anything we could do about it. I had to get off one station later because I needed to go to Coquitlam to meet my family for dinner so I didn't find out what happened, but I really hope they all got home okay, and they didn't accidentally end up in Surrey or something...

Today is my dad's birthday! Coincidentally, my aunt is visiting from Texas, so we all got to celebrate his birthday together. It was the first time in many years we were able to, so it made it extra special. I love my Aunt Jasmine, she's so nice and sweet :D. We went to Pearl Castle for dinner, and I was absolutely starving from walking so much. Afterwards we went home and had the ice cream cake Jenn made. She's been baking a lot recently, and she's really, really good at it. Just last week she made the most delicious mint chocolate glazed cake... the ice cream cake was really good too, except for the fact it was a little melted :D.

Only one provincial left to go, then I'm as free as a bird! The past couple weeks I had been so crazily stressed, but everything actually evened out alright. Less work than I had anticipated, which is always a good thing :D. I did my socials provincial this morning, and all I have left is my science provincial on Tuesday and Caitlin's accompaniment.

Summer is coming off to a good start though. The past summer holidays have been full of music history and piano, but this summer I have absolutely nothing but free time to spend with my friends~ I'm so excited. Yesterday I went to Coquitlam with everyone to buy Russ' birthday present, which was lots of fun. Afterwards, Russ, Ashley, and Erin dragged me away from my socials notes for a late night Timmy's run. Thanks guys, I needed that :D. And today, after my socials provincial, we all went to Ashley's house to play Brawl. I can't get enough of that game <3.

Three more weeks of school. I can't believe it. This year has gone by so fast; I feel like I've just gotten back from Christmas break.

But here it is. Only 21 more days before.... exams week. I've got my Science 10 and my Socials 11 to take, both of which aren't so bad, but I'm really struggling getting the learning guides done on time. Everyday I plan to get loads and loads of homework done, but somehow I still manage to accomplish nothing. Its so frustrating, and sometimes I think I might be better off at a normal school... but then again, I don't even know if I'd be able to function in a normal system anymore. This cycle of doing nothing and stressing out at the end of the year seems too normal now, I guess XD.

The Matrix is a crazy movie. All three of them are, actually. I'd know, since I've spent the better half of my day rewatching them. Ten minute rants about choice, fate, purpose... all dressed in constricting, patent leather clothing. I mean really, clothing that tight must make it hard to breathe.

I wish I could upload things into my brain, like they did. If I could do that for Math 11, life would be fantastic. I wouldn't mind a kung-fu move here and there either. Or flying. Or stopping bullets in mid-air. No, I wouldn't mind at all.

CRISIS CORE IS COMING OUT TOMORROW! I'm so excited. I've already pre-ordered my copy~ Months and months of groveling, screeching, restless pacing and incoherent babbling will come to an end tomorrow. Oh Zack *sniffles*.

I love being able to walk to school. Really, I do. Something feels good about walking out the door in the morning and watching all the kiddies flood into Golden Ears. Especially if I'm eating an apple or something on the way as well. It feels so... refreshing.

Oh god, not this morning though. My cell phone alarm rings at 6:40, my clock rings at 7:00, I get out of bed at 7:15 and out the door by 7:30 with nothing but coffee, which does nothing but make my stomach feel miserable the entire day. Oh misery, misery. Whine. Sob. Moan. I hate morning band.

The weather has been gorgeous the last couple days though. And my dad has been here and it's been really awesome :D. We watch Frasier and aspire to be just like Tom Hanks in 'Castaway'. I love my daddy <3.

There are two things that are the driving forces of my life right now; Ouran, and Staries. Pathetic, but true. My jugular nearly burst when I lost my latest game only THIRTY-SOMETHING points behind Allyie. I'm seeing Staries in my sleep, and it's not pleasant. I need to get a life :(. Like, a real one.

So... sick...

I think I'm going to die... my head is pounding, my nose is running and every time I turn or shift my head I think I'm going to fall off the edge of the earth... graaaahh..

I can't believe it's only eleven more days till Christmas. Thank god all my Christmas shopping is done. My list this year was much shorter, which makes me confused as to whether or not I should rejoice or re-evaluate my social life. Hm...

Anyways, I'm sitting here with a mug of OJ and trying not to get snot on my keyboard, as well as trying not to freak myself out after having Wikipedia'd John Wayne Gacy Jr. Damn you Allyie for pointing out there was a song by Sufjan Stevens by him - you know my insatiable Wiki addiction couldn't be denied, and now I'm deathly afraid of serial killers. Wonderful. I wish I had my meat cleaver here, but I'm too afraid to go downstairs.

*whimper*

Anyways, I guess it won't be so bad when I move. At least if a serial killer breaks into our townhouse, if I scream nice and loud at least someone should hear me. And no more walking in miserably, sleety weather, which was probably the cause of my awful fever right now. It wasn't fun, sitting in a barely warm library with cold feet for four hours. I just finished a book I had taken out from there two days ago, 'Sabriel' by Garth Nix. I am now contemplating a future career as a necromancer, though I'd probably mix up all the fiddly bells I'd have to carry around and accidentally revive Hitler.

I think I'm going to go to sleep now... goodnight.

Am I crazy? Am I going crazy?

..maybe a little.

*implodes*

Near five hours of non-stop KHII, three slices of pizza and plenty of screaming and writhing, I believe that is implosion-worthy. Had lots of fun you guys, we should definitely do that again :D.

Oh, and Mallika, if you're reading this, you forgot your cell phone at my house.

I can't believe how many things I have going on this year. Along with sewing, piano, piano teaching, harmony, accompaniment, clarinet choir, student council, student library council, buddy reading (of which he/she has yet to show up for the last two times. grr. stood there like a dork for half an hour each time) AND schoolwork, I feel like I'm going to die sometimes.

But, I remember how awful I had felt last year and just walking around like a zombie, not really aware of anything, I guess I kind of want to make up for all that lost time by diving into things. It feels nice being busy, and as long as I have time for my beloved 10-11 time, everything should be okay.

*crosses fingers hopefully*

Currently, I'm seeing double of everything. It was completely worth it though; I cleared three worlds and got some major estrogen-squeal-worthy moments as well. Kingdom Hearts II has devoured my soul *gnaws* :B.

So... sleepy. Probably going house hunting again tomorrow, so I've got to be awake lest I end up being shipped to Thornhill *yawn*

So yes, school has indeed started.

Every time I run up the stairs to my class upstairs, I get this feeling of an immense amount of blood rushing to my head, making me feel terribly dizzy. I'm so out of shape and have obviously been away from school far too long, I think. Still haven't gotten my homework face on, if it ever was. The thing I'm trying to avoid the most is a repeat of last year, but I can already feel myself slipping into my procrastination slippers and realizing that they're mighty comfortable.

I'm beginning to regret leaving fanfiction.net, mostly because it used to be so convenient to post entries so quickly. And here it's more complicated, and also because I'm always so embarrassed when people read my fanfiction, especially if they understand the fandom I'm writing in. Eek *hides*. I am a sad excuse for a writer...

I really need to get some source of employment, or at least some sort of income if I'm planning on saving up for the PSP I've been secretly lusting for. It's not so much that the PSP itself, but the reason why I'm getting it. I knew the moment I finished watching the first Crisis Core trailer that I'd cry myself silly if I played it, but would feel unfulfilled for the rest of my life if I didn't. Even though it's not coming out for another year or so, it'll probably be that long until I've gathered enough funds for it anyhow.

Planning is *sigh*. Science is *moan*. English is "WTF?!?!", and Socials is *headdesk*.

Welcome to the ostensibly glorious and wondrous tenth year, where the puppies, glitter and general good feelings of summer are naught but a sequestered memory within the deepest reaches of our misbegotten mind, where the puppies have contracted some deadly virus and vomited over the glitter and good-feeling, where we try to finish our homework with increasing exacerbation and lukewarm fervor.

*shakes Tamaki language out of mind* See you, dudes.

1) Watch Pride and Prejudice at least five times
2) Read Eclipse
3) Read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
4) Finish Final Fantasy XII
5) Finish Final Fantasy III and SELL IT
6) Pass Piano 9
7) Pass History 3
8) Write to New York friends a proper letter

So, I have to say as a summer roundup, I think I did pretty well. Considering that I spent most of my time in front of the computer, I managed to get 6/8 things done on my list. I think I deserve a pat on the back. *pats*

School is starting soon, and I know for a lot of people it's actually post-secondary. We'll miss you all a lot :(. If I feel nervous about starting grade 10, I have no idea how you guys must feel. Good luck, you lot <3.

Dinner plans on Wednesday, school supply shopping on Thursday, sleepover on Friday, things to do on Saturday, and church on Sunday. My final week before school is set.

*sigh*

Oh goooooood.

So I get back from Sean's birthday party at one, and since it's past our curfew Jenn and I park the car outside and sneak in so they won't hear the garage door open. Heehee.

Yesterday was a very good day. The Zellers restaurant is probably one of the best in Maple Ridge. Seriously. It's really cheap, and the food is delicious. I craved pasta, but they only had spaghetti and I'm not a marinara-kinda girl, so I had a cheese-and-chicken sandwich instead. Delish.

Played piano, practiced playing in-the-moment, scales and such.

Went to Sean's birthday party, lots of fun :D. Finally fulfilled my pasta craving. Yuuum.

Stardust was a good movie. Hits all the right, fangirl-y spots. But how in the world did Tristan know where to find Yvaine after the witch-people captured her? Did he just start galloping off in a general direction and was lucky enough to find the huge-freaking crater? Sienna Miller plays the 'bitch' role very well though :D. I want to watch it again so bad, but we're running out of coupons T___T.

So I wake up at noon the next day, and I'm hungry and thirsty at the same time. And there is only one food in the world that can quench one's thirst and fill you up too - cereal. So I go and make a huge bowl of cereal, and now I'm stomach is in pain. Gaaaaaah... I'm never eating cereal again...

Bluhhh...

1) Watch Pride and Prejudice at least five times
2) Read Eclipse
3) Read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
4) Finish Final Fantasy XII
5) Finish Final Fantasy III and SELL IT
6) Pass Piano 9
7) Pass History 3
8) Write to New York friends a proper letter

Yep, I wrote to Amanda and Dara the other day. So it's wasn't exactly 'proper', as in pen and paper like I wanted, but it wasn't an trashy chain letter either, so it's good improvement. Seeing as how we've been communicating for seven years, I think we're doing good :D.

I'm pretty sure I passed History; I only knew Stravinsky, Carmen and Eine Kleine by heart so I was a little nervous, though my general knowledge was pretty solid, but voila! Carmen and Stravinsky are the two essays that show! YESSSSS!

Okay, just piano left to do...

You can do this, Deborah.

Yes, yes you can.

...

All I want to do is play Kingdom Hearts *cries*

happy birthday to mee
happy birthday to meeeee
happy birthday dear deboraaaahhh
happy birthday to mee

*blows out candles*

 


One of the best things about being 15 is that now I have a theme song. woohooo

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this

pretty, eh?

But overall, it feels pretty surreal. Does anyone every actually 'feel' their age? Hm...

It was a very nice birthday, considering i had to drag myself out of bed at 8 in the morning to do a mock exam. But it was really nice and relaxing, and at night before Mom left for Taiwan they suprised me with a cake and some presents. It was lots of fun, and I got to wear a tiara :D. We had to be really quiet, since grandma was sleeping in the next room.

But all in all, a very nice birthday. Thanks for everything guys!

1) Watch Pride and Prejudice at least five times
2) Read Eclipse
3) Read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
4) Finish Final Fantasy XII
5) Finish Final Fantasy III and SELL IT
6) Pass Piano 9
7) Pass History 3
8) Write to New York friends a proper letter

Eclipse was amazing. So amazing that I nearly threw up with joy. Now I hope Stephanie Meyer doesn't write another one and ruin the absolutely perfect ending to the series.

Okay, gotta go to bed now. I have a piano play through tomorrow morning, and I haven't practiced properly in a week....

Freedom, I'm coming!

1) Watch Pride and Prejudice at least five times
2) Read Eclipse
3) Read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
4) Finish Final Fantasy XII
5) Finish Final Fantasy III and SELL IT
6) Pass Piano 9
7) Pass History 3
8) Write to New York friends a proper letter






*sigh*

Urrrgghhh

So TIRED.

Plenty of family drama. Right now, my grandparents aren't talking to Jenn or my mom and they aren't talking to my grandparents. And everyone is so busy they're not talking to me either XD. Oh well, it's pretty peaceful right now and I prefer this than them yelling at me o___o.

Ho hum, I should really do my history.

So, last Tuesday was fun :D. Seanuck~~~~ hahahahaha. I'm so happy we beat that last guy before the mall closed. I've been playing the Sims 2 everyday ever since we bought it lol. It's a lot harder than the Sims original version though, and it keeps crashing my computer because the graphics are too good for it. Oh well, let's persevere!!

I went shopping with Jenn and my Mom yesterday, and we went to Lazy Den!!! Yaaaay!

I haven't really written anything this summer either, which is kind of a bad thing because I want to get my stuff on FF.net wrapped up before September. I did write this little thing on Zack and Aerith (Crisis Core trailer=win omg.) and I'm still waiting to hear the verdict out on that one.

But yeah, besides that the view from where I am is rather gray.

Current Standings: strike-outs are what I've done so far.

1) Watch Pride and Prejudice at least five times
2) Read Eclipse
3) Read Harry Potter VII
4) Finish Final Fantasy XII
5) Finish Final Fantasy III and SELL IT
6) Pass Piano 9
7) Pass History 3
8) Write to New York friends a proper letter

*dies*

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I had meant for this to be my creative journal, actually. Somewhere where I could dump all my writing. But then I thought I could really do with a change and since another school year would be starting (...even though it's only the beginning of July) I thought a new start would be nice. I was a pretty moronic twelve year old when I started blogging, and even at fourteen (almost fifteen), I'm still just as moronic but I can now think of much more creative usernames :D. At least, I think.

So my summer has been pretty uneventful. Full of piano, music history and sitting around in front of the computer. But here are my goals for this summer.

1) Watch Pride and Prejudice at least five times
2) Read Eclipse
3) Read Harry Potter VII
4) Finish Final Fantasy XII
5) Finish Final Fantasy III and SELL IT
6) Pass Piano 9
7) Pass History 3
8) Write to New York friends a proper letter

Most of these things require for me to be at home to do so, so by September I'm going to be nice and pasty white, like a ghost. Or a vampire :D.